The Virgin birth and a faux Chinese Chest
Christmas. It used to have a religious significance for me. But that was a long time ago, the fifties and sixties when I believed almost everything, anyone told me. And I was a dutiful sort of person, obedient, willing and looking for a story that would explain the strangeness of ‘being’, human.
Then I had a family and Christmas was nostalgia and the creation of my own new story, a family story. It was sewing Christmas stockings that we still use, in spite of my limited skills as a sewer. Each year, I bring out the stockings for a brief cameo and then I stow them away in a faux Chinese wooden chest where we keep newspaper clippings and the Christmas lights.
A virgin birth. It never occurred to me as a child how odd this was. How could a child be cynical about the Angel Gabriel arriving on a beautiful cloud? Mary so pious (in various versions, possibly a little startled), but attractively compliant. You have to remember, I was a Catholic girl who read her Catechism and could recite the Apostles Creed in English and possibly parts of it in Latin. The Angel Gabriel arriving at the annunciation was a powerful fairy-tale.
I had no sympathy for Mary who was to carry this unplanned pregnancy. I was filled with the light of El Greco paintings on Colomban calendars, sermons from a small church in Richmond – Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. And then after abandoning my faith, and travelling for a few years, eventually I married the man I’d been ‘living in sin’ with for almost five years.. and became that very Lady of Perpetual Succour… a wife and mother.
I’m older now, and there are decades between my love of filling stockings at midnight, baking the cake weeks before, writing cards, attending Midnight Mass (merely for nostalgia and now not at all), buying a real Christmas tree, decorating it, making food that will please everyone, and then, finally, realising, that it’s not up to me, and you cannot ever please everyone.
I no longer weep when Christmas music (Snoopy’s Christmas) comes on the radio. I still dance to the Pogues ‘Fairytale of New York’ because my granddaughter has been dancing to it with me for seven and a half years…
In my life-time, I have celebrated Christmas in Richmond, Nelson, Wellington, Washington DC, Norway (Santa arrived on Christmas eve in the snow), Edinburgh (practically alone), Istanbul (snow again) and Laos.
I’ve experienced joy and disappointment and one of my most memorable gifts was a swimsuit from an Aunt when I was about eight years old – it was covered in Christmas pink bon-bons and had a pink bow placed strategically at the base of the bodice where it flared into a cute skirt – prior to that I’d worn my Mother’s seersucker, over-sized swimsuit (with bra cups that possibly kept me afloat).
It’s New Year now in our bay. The Pohutakawa next door is flowering. We’re re-united with our son who has been living overseas for ten years. We had a happy Christmas family breakfast and thoughtful inexpensive gifts under the tree. We were almost sitcom material on New Year’s Day with everyone on their best behaviour. Our granddaughter is besotted with her Uncle and we’re all besotted with her.
This year, I want to embrace being human, and to recognise the glorious potential of difference, rather than indifference, the beauty of the individual rather than the duty of togetherness, the magic of family in all its inordinate incarnations.
10 thoughts on “The Virgin birth and a faux Chinese chest”
I really enjoyed this. Thank you.
You write so well
Dear Frances, thank you. XX
Maggie, you helped me recall my young days and those of my children. My grandchildren are growing up. I miss my grandparent’s Christmas with home grown new potatoes and minted peas followed by a sneaky sip of mumma’s sherry. Now it is time…. separation, different countries and different islands and in laws and only 24 hours for Christmas day. I am so grateful for memories.
Lovely Maggie. I love your reflection on how challenging it is as a mother no longer being able to make things right, and how challenging it is to refrain from trying …because that may be what your kids need most.
A shame it took me so long to work it out… 🙂 Lovely to hear from you Anna.
Lovely, Maggie. Embracing what is good and right at that moment – you’re right – and loving them and ourselves as we do. Virgin Mary or no Virgin Mary, cake or no cake, gifts or no gifts. That’s it in a nutshell. And off to one side the faux Chinese chest of memories. Xxx
Thank you, Mary and here’s to a great New Year for both of us with writing and family.
I came to this page from Eavan Boland search, and meandered through the piece on Seamus Heaney. Donegal myself, 40 plus years in Alberta, but I have a good friend retired from teaching who like myself knows Seamus’ brother who lives here. Many years ago S was in town, and my friend happened to sit that night in a pub with Tommy Makem, two Heaneys, and one of the Clancy brothers. He said he could die happily afterwards, that the chat could never be equaled!
How special to hear from you and this lovely anecdote about not one but two Heaney’s – thank you so much for taking the time to leave this note on my blog. It’s lovely to have readers from overseas and to hear from someone, who knows someone who knew Seamus Heaney! 🙂