When life gives you grandchildren
(while watching Life gives you 
Tangerines)

Watching Netflix, Korean drama about
Hanyeo, Jeju, places I know as a tourist
Volcanic rock, women divers, motherhood

I’m drinking a Pinot Gris in spite of believing
I have pancreatic pains because I am
creative and overwrought and loving

Umma, Mum, Mama, Mom, even Mummy
And I might cry even without the wine
Who needs subtitles to comprehend

Last night, I pat-patted goodnight to my
darling mokopuna, Sonja, 손자 granddaughter
her hands grasping both mine tight

locked in, waiting for a change in her
breathing, the gentle sound of a snore
or the pip pip of sleeping bliss

before

I untangle both hands, with the stealth
of a haneyo, halmoni, or Kiwi grandmother
and slip from the bed like a happy thief

to be woken by the hot breath and thick
hair of love in pink pyjamas clasping
my hands again, a reclaiming

so tonight, in spite of old age signs
of possible problems, I abandon
caution, ignore health warnings

watch Korean Netflix and celebrate
motherhood, miss my own mum 
and revel in being a halmoni

if this is old age, then, here I am