(with apologies to Juvenal and all scholars of Juvenal)
Posterity will need to add nothing to how we behave, Our children will do and desire exactly the same; All depravity stands at the edge of a chasm. Set sail, Spread all your canvas. Perhaps you’ll say ‘Where Is the power to match your subject? Where will you find The frankness of those who wrote as they chose With passionate spirit?’ Well who do I dare not name? Do I let him ride by, then, that man who’s planning tax cuts For all his uncles and despises us from his feather cushions? ‘Yes, button your lip, instead, when he sallies by: If you even say: ‘that’s him’, you’ll be marked as WOKE Stephen from Balclutha is completely pissed off There’s no problem with Claire on a toilet seat No-one got fired for that, and Jamie-Lee led them all a merry dance and now he’s a popular pimp and what about Barbara messing with justice poor Stephen is shaking his head, it’s not fair they’ve cancelled me, bloody PC just crowd put him to bed But Luxon is fiery and roars in reply… we won’t settle for this stuff and Nicola nods almost cries We’re much better than this and even if you Privately think Jacinda is like Hitler, says Erica With a perfectly straight face and straight hair You just can’t say it out loud Better watch out, the National party is out and about They won’t let you get away with it any more They’re chasing down votes and set Stephen afloat Dreaming his dreams of Covid and nubile young things In retirement As he reddens and sweats, his conscience new-stricken by guilt. Then, there’ll be anger and tears. So think about it first, Before you go posting misogynistic jokes… too late to regret