The Dangers of Satire


(with apologies to Juvenal and all scholars of Juvenal)

Posterity will need to add nothing to how we behave, 
Our children will do and desire exactly the same; 
All depravity stands at the edge of a chasm. Set sail, 
Spread all your canvas. Perhaps you’ll say ‘Where 
Is the power to match your subject? Where will you find 
The frankness of those who wrote as they chose 
With passionate spirit?’ Well who do I dare not name? 
Do I let him ride by, then, that man who’s planning tax cuts
For all his uncles and despises us from his feather cushions? 
‘Yes, button your lip, instead, when he sallies by: 
If you even say: ‘that’s him’, you’ll be marked as WOKE

Stephen from Balclutha is completely pissed off
There’s no problem with Claire on a toilet seat
No-one got fired for that, and Jamie-Lee led them
all a merry dance and now he’s a popular pimp
and what about Barbara messing with justice
poor Stephen is shaking his head, it’s not fair
they’ve cancelled me, bloody PC just crowd put him to bed
But Luxon is fiery and roars in reply… we won’t
settle for this stuff and Nicola nods almost cries
We’re much better than this and even if you
Privately think Jacinda is like Hitler, says Erica
With a perfectly straight face and straight hair
You just can’t say it out loud

Better watch out, the National party is out and about
They won’t let you get away with it any more
They’re chasing down votes and set Stephen afloat
Dreaming his dreams of  Covid and nubile young things
In retirement
As he reddens and sweats, his conscience new-stricken by guilt. 
Then, there’ll be anger and tears. So think about it first, 
Before you go posting misogynistic jokes… too late to regret 


Pretty yarn all in a box
with circular needles
cost a small fortune
but how hard can it be?

Casting on is tricky for me
188 stitches and alas
every time I count them
I get a different number

Hubby suggests counting
in tens, not twos and
clever man, marking them
off, and it works a treat

I’m almost one and a half
inches into the ribbed hem
when I notice the circular
yarn is twisting – oh no

Too, the rib pattern of two plain
and two pearl has now here
and there it seems become
three pearl…how did that happen?

I will unravel and start again!
of course I will, of course I will
and recklessly I tear the stitches
into a tangled mess of knotty wool

This all started at 10.00 am after
my early morning swim and
it’s now 4.30 pm my neck 
in rictus and I’m furious

In the time I have taken to
create this mess I could have
baked six cakes successfully
I can read recipes…

I throw the needles and the 
knots of yarn to the floor 
and head to the sea .,,
cheaper than a therapist

Hubby arrives home tired
after a full days work and
quietly sits at the table in
full light, un-knotting my knots

Ah such folly

this is love

I’m unravelled